Tips & Tricks from D.C. Mom-Preneurs

Moms are superheroes. That we know for sure. Whether it’s being the only shoulder you feel safe to cry on, the only person that knows you better than yourself, or simply knowing all the answers, D.C. moms are in a league of their own. The rush of this chaotic capital can overwhelm anyone, and moms often need to turn to each other for support. We interviewed five incredibly accomplished business owners, entrepreneurs, founders or managers whose work doesn’t stop when they clock out of the office. Motherhood is, for sure, a full-time job.

Mary Kingsley, “writer, do-er, teacher, encourager, and idea developer behind Lady Farmer” founded and runs the eco clothing brand with her daughter, Emma. Becky Waddell, founder of the green beauty Take Care Shop, welcomed a baby girl, Lily, last June. V., founder of Gouter (a premium, all organic alkaline water-based beverage company), started her company as a single mom when her daughter was four years-old. L2 Lounge and Kafe Leopold’s is managed by Suad Reynolds, who is the mother to Sophia. Rosana Vollmerhausen, founder and chief stylist of DC Style Factory—Washingtonian Magazine’s top personal styling company in the DC area—is a mother of three.

We asked these boss-moms to answer a few questions about how they manage taking care of another human while also taking care of themselves and their careers.

Tell us about your self-care routine.

Mary: I meditate every morning for 20 minutes and try to spend as much time outdoors as possible. I take a walk in nature with my dogs almost every day. I also love doing yoga.

Becky: I am all about my shower. I use my shower to stretch, breathe, and honestly just be by myself. There’s a window in my bathroom and I love showering midday because energizing beams of sunshine fill the shower – whenever I can, I make an excuse to treat myself to a shower midday! Of course, skincare is part of my personal wellness routine and I love orienting my skincare around the shower: I apply a mask a few minutes before entering and let it sit on my face in the steam, allowing all those ingredients to plump and soften my skin. Similarly, I massage a gentle exfoliant all over my body and let it do its magic while I wash my hair, then rinse clean (I swear it feels so much more luxurious – the oils really get to sink into your skin that way!)

V: I try to get out into nature as often as I can. That’s where I feel the most at peace and where I go to process my thoughts.

Suad: My friend once told me “You can not take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.” For a while, I was giving more than taking and ignored or put aside my own needs and well been. How do I do it? I eat just what my body needs. I cook when I cook my food and eat outside only if I have not other alternative or I was invited to a dinner or lunch with friend or clients. Having a glass of wine and listening to good music while making my famous curry and rice chicken is my therapy and happy moment. I learned to acknowledge my emotions and embrace my feelings (if I’m sad, angry, embarrassed, let down). Being honest with myself first before others and not suffocate myself while pretending to like or enjoy something or someone I don’t. I erased the word “Guilt” from my dictionary. I used to feel guilty when I spent so much time at the office and focused on my career. Now, I wake up in the morning and tell myself “I’m doing this for my daughter to make her proud of her mother. I’m setting an example for her. I’m doing this for both of us”. Meditating at least three times a week makes me feel alive and full of energy. Not a specific religious practice in particular but just closing my eyes and reaching deep inside me to touch the farthest point in my soul that I can reach. I connect with God and pray for strength and support. I get the feeling at that point of safety, love, fulfillment, satisfaction, and relief. I can have a long conversation with Sophia (my daughter) about makeup, fashion, my job and that makes me feel good and make her feel part of my plan. She is my support most of the time and she doesn’t know it. Surrounding myself with happy people keeps the negative energy away from me and my life. Although listening to other people stories and life experience adds a lot to my growth.

Rosana: Like so many moms “doing it all,” my life is hectic with three kids and a growing business. Self-care to me isn’t massages or facials. It’s allowing myself to make mistakes because I am human, trusting others to be in charge because I can’t do it all, and easing up on myself when things don’t go quite right. It’s like giving yourself a hug every day when you need it! That to me is true self-care. It helps me wake up and start again each and every day with a fresh perspective. I also have regular things I do for my mind and body: sun salutation each day that keeps me limber; watching something that makes me laugh every day (right now anything and everything John Mulaney; playing a game each week (lately it’s been Crazy 8s with my kids, which always makes me feel like a kid!); finding an inspiring podcast because I am stuck in traffic so much for my job I have to stay positive (I can’t get enough of all the wisdom in the NPR podcast How I Built This); drink tons of water; time with my husband because he keeps it real (we have been taking a daily evening walk WITH NO KIDS); dancing at the end of every day (I’m not kidding. We dance ALL THE TIME in our house); and a new pair of shoes here and there is extremely uplifting.

Do you want to give shout-outs to two beauty products and two closet items that have saved your butt either as a mom or a boss?

Mary: When it comes to beauty products, the simpler the better for me. After washing my face with a tiny bit of baking soda (it’s a lovely gentle exfoliant) I use witch hazel as an astringent and Argan oil as a moisturizer. My favorite closet item is the Lady Farmer Demeter Tunic! It’s the perfect weight for all kinds of weather, goes with leggings or jeans and the ample pockets are great for a phone, keys, garden shears, dog treats, headphones…whatever I’m doing I need those pockets. For warm days, I love to throw on the Lady Farmer Persephone dress with leggings. It goes anywhere.

Becky: Absolutely: 1. The Kjaer Weis Collector Kit, because it keeps all my makeup in one sleek compact.

2. Tammy Fender’s Clarifying Dermagel and Purifying Luculent Mask because postpartum skin + breakouts have tripped me up (these two helped keep my skin happy, though!) The closet items that saved me were black dresses, black dresses and black dresses.

V: I’m a minimalist when it comes to beauty and clothes. But the one item that I use every day without fail is my essential oil blend that I use to stay grounded and stress-free. It has a blend of frankincense, lavender, vetiver and ylang ylang flower. For clothes, Lululemon saves my butt on a regular basis. I always need clothes that are both practical and look nice because I’m constantly hopping off my bike and heading into meetings. Their clothes are the ultimate in functionality, wearability and style.

Suad: Closet Items: Black dresses (Which I have around 25 of them). I can wear them any day and for any occasion. My nude Tory Burch handbag leather tote which I can carry anywhere I go. It’s also big enough for all the junk I have to take with me all the time.

Beauty products will be Vitamin C serum which I use before bed and after a long day. I wake up with a fresh face and ready for another long day and night. Lancôme Hypnose Drama Buildable Volume Mascara. I can have no makeup on but this mascara will make me feel good.

Apple cider vinegar (you can use brags) is a must-have product in my house. I use it before a shower on my hair and on Sophia’s hair. Apple cider vinegar is good for people who have oily skin, thanks to its astringent properties. In addition, it is a rich source of alpha hydroxy acids that increase blood flow to the skin and minimize pores. Plus, apple cider vinegar regulates the pH level of your skin. Sophia has started having some acne. It bothers her a lot. I use apple cider vinegar mix with some water and apply it on the affected areas on her face. It worked like magic! And she is happy.

Rosana: I just started a nighttime skincare routine over the last couple of years. Before, no joke, my skincare routine at the end of the day was to wash/exfoliate my face and slather it with Aquafor! Now, it’s all about maintenance. Every night, I have a five-step routine before bed:

1.) Remove makeup and use Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant

2.) I then apply Organic Bulgarian Rose Water Toner and let it dry.

3.) Apply La Roche-Posay Effaclar Serum and let that sit.

4.) Eye Cream! I go old-school drug store and use Oil of Olay Pro-Retinol Eye Treatment

5.) Finally, I put on my night cream! I use Murad Retinol Youth Renewal Night Cream

It takes me much more time now to get ready for bed, but I love the ritual of caring for my skin. It’s a great way to wind down from the day. And, my skin has never looked better!

For the closet, I swear by flocked Huggable Hangers, which you can buy at the Container Store. We recommend them to all our clients before auditing their closets, and I use them myself. They are a game changer for saving space and no more silky tops falling off hangers! My closet is always organized exactly the way we organize our clients’ closets. I am never searching for anything, and I never wonder what I am going to wear that day.

Who is your muse/role model who gives you inspiration on balancing it all?

Mary: Brigit, the legendary figure from Irish folklore who is the Goddess of all the womanly arts—cooking, weaving, poetry, animal husbandry, fire keeping, midwifery, lambing and even beer making!

Becky: Honestly, I don’t know anyone who thinks they are actually balancing it all in the way we typically idolize busy women. I think all my mom entrepreneur friends are looking around thinking 1. How did I get so lucky and 2. What was I thinking? It’s a wonderful place to be, and I enjoy watching no shortage of women navigate and celebrate it. Majorly inspiring local women for me are Rebecca Gallop, Sy Yang, Carolyn Misterik, Suzanne Eden, Alicia Swanstrom and really my list could just go on and on!

V: I just met this amazing woman named Doniga Markegard who has become a huge inspiration. Her background is in wilderness tracking and permaculture and is dedicated to finding ways to regenerate lands and community through ranching practices that build soil, sequester carbon, capture and purify water and enhance habitat. She has learned how to live with the land, listen to and trust her instincts and she’s a total badass in the ranching community!

Suad: Maya Angelou.

Rosana: First, my mother. She started her business when I was in high school — a French bakery and I saw first-hand what it looks like to take risks, believe, sacrifice, and work hard. I also started DC Style Factory later in life. I had an entirely different career into my 30s — I was a journalist. I don’t know that I would have believed I could switch gears and start over at this stage of the game if I had not experienced my mother doing the exact same thing growing up. In terms of balancing it all, I don’t believe there is such a thing. I always go back to an interview I read with Susan Tynan, Founder and CEO of Framebridge, the online framing business that is revolutionizing the industry. I remember her saying that to pursue this idea, start this business, and run it, she had to accept that she would not be her children’s primary caregiver. She has a nanny, her husband, and her parents. I loved that she did not paint this unrealistic “we can have it all” picture. Who can be at home all the time and also be at work all the time? There is always sacrifice. But, there doesn’t have to be guilt. It is possible to be a loving, present mother and not be at every school classroom party. We can be mothers and still put our dreams into action. Since DC Style Factory started to take off, I have received unflinching support from my husband and family. We had an amazing nanny and ever-present grandparents when the kids were younger that freed me to develop and grow my business. Over the past several years as the business has grown, my husband, who has flexibility with his job, shoulders much of our daily family life with kids activities, household chores, and more. This has allowed me to push this business forward.

What kind behavior are you modeling for your children on a weekly basis?

Mary: I want to model that no matter what age, a person can grow and learn new things, that we are always evolving.

Becky: I hope I’m modeling curiosity, compassion and love. I just love her beyond my wildest dreams and I can only hope she feels and knows my all encompassing adoration (to the extent her 11mo old self can!)

V: The best behavior I can model for my daughter is showing her that I make mistakes, how to use these as life lessons and how to move past them.

Suad: When I get upset when Sophia drops her coat on the floor and not hang it or leave her shoes in the middle of the living room, I feel like screaming, then I tell myself “Be the person you want Sophia to be”, so I a calm down and explain to her how it would be a big help for me if she can put her belongings away so she can find them next time she needs next.

Rosana: Tenacity, forgiveness, humor, and the power of hugs.

What advice on work or motherhood has your mom given that still sticks with you?

Mary: Whatever you’re doing, have fun!

Becky: I guess it wasn’t a piece of advice – more of an approach. She let me be me, and I will forever be grateful for her allowing to find my own path in life.

V: My mom has shown me that you should always look for the fun in anything you do.

Suad: “Do what you have to do.” Mom was a widow. She never got married and Mom never got married and she works hard to send kids to college. I remember when she had to leave the house at 4 in the morning to make it to work by 5 am. That right there was an unconditional love. She did not bring a stranger man to our life, she sacrificed a lot to see us happy, and just loved us. Mom’s advice to me was “just be happy and the rest will follow. Be tough when you have to and never let anyone take your good heart for granted. Love hard and live hard.”

Rosana: My mom never gave me advice on motherhood. She was living in Thailand and ill with a progressive, degenerative disease well before I was pregnant with my first child. But, my brother said to me recently, “There is no way you wouldn’t be a good mom because we had the best mom.” She taught me unconditional love. That isn’t something everyone gets to experience, and I am so grateful I get to pass that love onto my children. Work: Find something you love to do. Figure out how that something can help other people. Spend the time and energy to get really, really good at it so people will pay you for it. Do that for the rest of your life.

Read my original article here: https://capitallymagazine.com/2018/05/11/1473/